I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
