I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
