Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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