Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
