sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
