so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
