I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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