i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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