All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
