Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
