3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
