just survived the first fart of the relationship.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
