Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
