OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
