just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
