Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
