I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I showed him my bush... on skype.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
