my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
