you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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