I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
