why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
BRING THE BAGELS
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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