so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
