Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
my penis made a compromise with my morals
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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