problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
