Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
