I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
