you guys were way drunker than both of me
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
