does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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