Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So much rum. So many feels.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
