I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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