oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I pour the whiskey from now on
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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