Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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