'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
