I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize
