Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
What drink are we having for lunch?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
