....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i can't believe i had my finger in that
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
