Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
