11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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