how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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