he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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