Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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