And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
