I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
