Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
