This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize