My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
