...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Still dying that you shit outside
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
