a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We have started to decorate penises.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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