explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
