Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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