Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
