i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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