He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Use "feeling words"
Yay
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
